Ahoy thar inferior lubbers, today be Talk Like a Pirate Day. In t’ spirit o’ t’ day, I’d like t’ talk with ye about how Financial Dominants be like pirates. You see, We’re not afraid t’ hornswaggle and conquer ye squiffy losers. Some might use force, others manipulation … I o’ course mostly use me hypnosis t’ plunder yer mind. Whatever Our methods, We be after yer treaaye. Yer booty. Yer doubloons.

Arrrr, We want t’ remind all ye scallywags that ye be inferior and weak. Ye smell like ya been swimmin’ in the bigle, ye parrot-loving, mutinous rogue! Enough wit’ yer bilge, ye sorry, black-spotted nattering wretch! Ye scurvy dogs need t’ be reminded that all yer coffers be Ours for t’ takin’. If ye don’t want t’ walk t’ plank, then ye be compliant as We rape yer wallets and take all yer loot. Or I’ll skewer yer gizzard, ye salty sea bass! Oblige or I’ll rip an’ burn yer Jolly Roger, ye pox-faced kraken!

Avast! Now say “Aye Aye Captain Josh” as ye submit yer mind t’ Me Superior power ‘n give in as ye pay Me wit’ lots o’ doubloons.