Hey Cashfags, I know some of you are going to be off enjoying the holiday. But, you know you aren’t worthy of so much enjoyment, right? You’re pathetic losers that need put in your place. If I were to step on you with my shoe, and then throw away that shoe you now tainted, that shoe would still be worth more than you. It’s only right that you should send me some extra cash today. I know banks are closed, but Niteflirt and other methods are not… so pay up faggots.

(bonus points if you recognize a television reference).