I posted this last year, but just like the networks show Rudolph, Frosty, the Grinch, et al each year, I figured I could bring back this holiday not-so-classic. 😉
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse
The dogslaves were nestled all snug in their cages,
While the cashfags had dreams of handing me wages.
When out on the lawn I heard a loud jingle
And peered out to see my fellow Sir, Master Kringle
The stump of a pipe was held firmly in fist,
And a reindeer tattoo sprung up from his wrist.
He was jacked yet had a gut, a true musclebear
Looking like a daddy with his beard and snow white hair
Beneath a leather jacket he wore one of his red latex suits
And the Dom kept his feet warm with shiny black boots
This Sir had trained hundreds of slaves the Old Guard way
Including the eight nude muscleslaves pulling his sleigh
Hundreds of young twinks made toys back at his workshop
And the disobedient mined coal – or faced the crop
“Kris, my bud,” I asked. “It’s your busiest night.
Isn’t your schedule the tiniest bit tight?”
“Yes, Master Josh, but I come bringing cash.
For a good guy like you should add to his stash!”
“But have I been good, when I pervert so many minds?”
“Yet you bring your listeners pleasures of all kinds!
Plus you’ve made recruiting easier than ever
– I use your files to ensure my slaves obey forever!”
“I’m glad to help but don’t you have toys to distribute?”
“I do, Master Josh, but first, a thank you tribute!”
And with that, Master Kringle flew off into the sky
As I saw for the first time, a muscleslave fly!
My mind drifted off as I thought about Kris off finding recruits
He went to great lengths – even down chimneys and chutes!
Sometimes he’d find good boys wanting to help with the mission
Other times a bad boy that had started to feel contrition
I woke up later that night back in my bed… had it all been a dream?
Thinking of those muscleslaves obeying, I was ready to cream.
As I wrote it all down, I thought… I may very well be going to hell.
But my hypnosis does give pleasure – so perhaps best not to dwell.
I logged onto my computer and into each of my accounts
Thanks to slave tributes, they were all at higher amounts!
And just as I was ready to deem the whole experience imaginary,
I heard a distant yell, “May your holidays be lucrative and merry!”